Now; I´d be so lucky if anyone was still out there listening – with the extremly slow post pace I think it´s understandable if you all think I´ve abandoned this blog. I have not, but I needed to feel some inspiration to get going again – and that is something that I´ve surely been lacking during this horrid last year.
My youngest rascal has now ended his cancer treatment. Of course he still has to regain some strength, but I´m so happy to see at least his apetite returning slowly. We still have a long way to go, but there´s progress every day.
I think my way back will be much longer than his.
Children have an inner stride that serves them so well in situations like this. They don´t agonize about all the what if´s; they handle it day by day. I´ve seen so many children during this year going through similar treatments like my son and still play and laugh.
That is a bliss.
For me it´s harder; the only fact I can hold on to is that my son is well now. The doctors believe he will stay that way, but as one said; ”sometimes it surprises even me who gets it back or not”. That is not what I want to hear, naturally – but somehow I have to learn to live with that. For years and years and years.
But we are closer than ever before; no bickering about the small stuff and even more hugs and kisses than before. I´m thankful for that; and for this worn friend who – after the surgery – suddenly was allowed back into my sons arms after years of neglect. This little shabby lamb is as old as my son and was actually waiting for him at home when he was a newborn; who could give a better comfort during hospital nights?
Things I haven´t had energy to enjoy for a year has returned to me. I love cooking again; looking for new recipes and old favourites – and I do it to loud music. The other day I actually got the urge to share some recipes with you so I just might do that soon.
After the long summer when we spent a lot of time outside and ignored the inside of our home (read; forgetting to water plants and cleaning) I´ve also started to fill my home with new plants and decorations; eager to make the home cozy for winter.
I´ve ordered some lovely wall candleholders, plan to do a makeover of my sideboard in the livingroom and some other projects. This is actually therapy for me; the psychologist that talks to parents of children with cancer said it´s very important to do things that makes me happy. I sleep very little and am tired and stressed to say the least – but to have some projects ahead keeps me going until the world starts functioning normal again.
This blog have always been a happy place for me as well, so I plan to enjoy it to the fullest from now on.
So; trying to walk forward and hope you´re ok. Will visit everyone of you and check for myself!